I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
