So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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