Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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