She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
