I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
