I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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