You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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