Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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