if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
