he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
