Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Houston, we have a blender
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
