moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
