Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
