What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
