Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
