i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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