yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
