Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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