One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
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