So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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