He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
