There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
