I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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