youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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