week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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