But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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