And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
