singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
