When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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