Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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