You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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