Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
