There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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