Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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