We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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