At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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