you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
