I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
