Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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