i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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