He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
