This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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