grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
