it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
