Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
