Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
