i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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