You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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