bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
