Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm passing your future prison.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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