Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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