Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
