Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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